Top Ten Things To Remember This Fall
Hey y'all (and other colloquialisms et al.)! Classes are starting soon, and Waco is a very big place for someone oh so very small like yourself. Here's a local guide to killing it this fall from one of our ninth-year seniors, Bro. CommunicaNoZe Major!
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1. Never get a haircut from an SAE.
2. I have a parking pass, and you do not.
3. Don’t disrespect the 7th and 8th graders. They’ve been here longer than you.
4. SKA: Seniors. Kick. Ass. It's their weird high school fantasy, and we're just living in it.
5. Free Frankenstein! Halloween is right around the corner, you know.
6. Box combo. No slaw. Extra toast.
7. The Alamo.
8. Linda’s compulsive, menopausal need to renovate every building in sight is a thing. It’s actually a bigger thing than anyone remembers it being.
9. Chip Gaines WILL lowball you if given the chance.
11. Never forget.
10. You too can be a NoZe Brother, by submitting an article through the button​
Alternatively, click to find out the secret to getting into heaven.
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And that's all there is to it! If you fail to remember any of these, just remember: I'm mining your IP address right now. Have a great semester!