Rather than corn, wheat, sorghum, soybeans, beef, cotton, pecans and other important sustainers of human life, the valuable Central Texas farmland will now produce 30,000 tons per day of wastewater and unmeasurable amounts of extremely valuable personal data… gifts freely given to local churches for Baptisms and recruiting tactics, respectively.

 

So rejoice and be thankful, “for God so loved the Baylor student, that he gave his only remaining pillar of American agriculture, that whoever pays $60,000 per year may receive Copilot-generated assignments and complete them with Chat GPT.” (Elmo, 3:16). 

 

Blessed indeed are the Meta developers, for they shall inherit the tax subsidy. 

 

And lo, Governor Abbott rejoiced, for he no longer must consider the failing public school system. Underprivileged youth shall be delivered unto Janitorial and Security services in the outskirts of town. And Meta shall pay for his new carbon fiber wheels. This is his miracle. 

 

Thus says the Lord:

Will the data center fix the roads? No.

Will it house the homeless? Absolutely not.

But when your intellect is spent, you shall mark its walls with the last moisture left in you.

 

Go forth in peace, to love and serve the Data Center.

In the name of the Subsidy, the Server, and the Holy GPU.

Amen and All Rights Reserved.